Relationship conflict and the community of selves

Realising that we are a community of selves with different needs, feelings, and perspectives on the situation, helps us to explain the horribly tangled and uncertain emotions that we often feel at such times. This, in itself, can offer a big sense of relief.  If we can consider the different selves who are in play then we might gain a sense of increased agency and control over the situation as we realise that we can decide who to put in charge of the group, committing to listening to all of the different voices without trying to silence any of them or rushing to determine one which is the ‘truth’ at the expense of the others.